Scene: It is Saturday morning about 8:00 a.m. in the Perfect Grant. Stephanie is still inside sitting at the counter. The door is open, and she sees William coming in.
Stephanie: Where have you been last night?
William: Why do I have to tell you? Are you, my wife?
Stephanie: I am not, but you made me sit in your shop watching over all your precious articles for at least (she looks at her watch) by now more than 14 hours.
William: Oh, nobody asked you to do this.
Stephanie: I was merely doing you a favour, and I am going to release myself from captivity now.
William: Hey wait! Before you leave, show me your bag.
William: In case you took anything from my shop in my absence.
Stephanie: But why would I want to do that?
William: I know that you need a pair of new spectacles.
Stephanie: No, I don’t.
William: I say you do.
Stephanie: By the way, I came in here with a pair of spectacles in my hand yesterday.
William: We are not talking about yesterday now.
Stephanie: But I want to know why you suddenly rushed out of the shop when you were talking to me.
William: I was trying to attend to my daughter’s birthday party.
Stephanie: Trying? You are her father; shouldn’t you be organizing it?
William: She is an adult now; she makes her own decision.
Stephanie: Seventeen an adult? Which county are you in?
William: As a matter of fact, she turned eighteen ... wait ... just this minute.
William frantically looks at his watch.
Stephanie: It’s here! I kept it for you.
William: Thank God. I thought it was missing.
Stephanie: Nice watch. But too large for my wrist.
William: Woman! You stole my watch?!
Stephanie: Merely trying it on, not stealing.
William takes back the watch and he look at it.
Stephanie: I didn’t do anything to it.
William (yells at the top of his voice): It stopped.
Stephanie (emphasis): Err, I didn’t do anything to it, (and then adds) it stopped on its own.
Upon which William slaps Stephanie.
Stephanie (now starts to shout): You are violent!
William: Do you want to call for the police?
Stephanie: No, of course not, but let it be on the record that you slapped me.
William: Then just leave, I am not interested in talking to you anymore.
Stephanie: Bye, by the way, checking your display, you have a nice variety of spectacles, they are extremely intelligent.
William scratches his head.
THE CURTAIN FALLS
Scene: It is Sunday morning about 11:00 a.m. in the Perfect Grant. William has put up an advertising display in the Fresh Hire App. He wants to hire a new assistant.
Stephanie walks in.
William (looking calm): Why are you here again today?
Stephanie: I saw your advertisement.
Stephanie: In the Fresh Hire App.
William: Where? I want to see.
Stephanie: There you go! Let me show you.
Stephanie hands William her handphone.
William: Oh, I can’t go in, it’s locked.
Stephanie: Forget it, you are too old for this, let me come back for the interview another day.
But Stephanie continues browsing the shop ....
Stephanie: By the way, have you checked your display recently?
Stephanie: Are the glasses in the same order as they have been arranged before?
William scratches his head again ....
Stephanie: I don’t know if anyone disturbed them ....
William (takes cognizance): Wait. Madam! As far as I know, you were the only one who was here two nights ago.
Stephanie raises her hands up immediately.
Stephanie: I swear I didn’t do anything.
William: Then why the innuendo?
Stephanie: What is the meaning of this?
William: You don’t know the meaning of “innuendo”?
Stephanie: I repeat, me, I no speak English, I am a Chinese speaker.
William: Mandarin or Chinese?
Stephanie: Is there a difference?
William: Mandarin is the spoken form of the Chinese language, and Chinese refers to the language in general in written form.
Stephanie: Aiyo, so simple, let me go lah, I didn’t let anyone in last night.
William walks up and tries to grab Stephanie’s bag.
William: I know you took something from me the other night when you were here.
Stephanie: Go look at your CCTV.
William: I don’t have CCTV in my shop.
Stephanie: Then why did you leave your door open on that fateful night?
William: Look, it was my daughter’s birthday and I had to attend to her.
Stephanie: Again, the same excuse. Where is your wife? Couldn’t she celebrate your daughter’s birthday in your absence?
William: My wife is dead, a long time ago.
Stephanie: Oh, I see, I am extremely sorry.
William: About what?
Stephanie: About your wife’s passing.
William: No need to be sorry, she is in heaven now.
Stephanie: Then would you like to join her?
William (shouts): NO! Of course not! (adds): I am having fun here now!
Stephanie: Doing what? Talking to me?
William: No, waiting for someone to come for an interview.
Stephanie: Oh yeah, how forgetful I am, I was here for an interview, not for confession.
William: No, I was the one who was confessing, not you.
Stephanie: In any case, I am not a priest, confessing to me also no use.
William: Maybe I go to the church later today.
Stephanie: Today is Vesak Day, more effective if you go to the Guan Yin Miao.
William: But then I no speak Chinese, want to accompany me?
Stephanie: Err, I can’t, I need to look after your shop for you when you are gone.
William: How responsible! You are hired!!!
THE CURTAIN FALLS